Harvest vs. Halloween

We had our Harvest Party at school today. Halloween is sort of off-limits in my Christian school, which is very disappointing to me, who was raised with spending October weekends watching a graveyard manifest in our front yard. My dad was the guy who got all into Halloween and took much joy in scaring the poo out of dumb high schoolers. I remember that there was one mask in the Halloween costume box that we would never want to look at because it was so scary. One year Dad created a costume that made him "headless" with a large black cloak, then carried that frightening mask with a red balloon inflated inside. He added a flashlight so the eyes and mouth glowed red. Creeeeepy. My father is a sick, sick man. Hence, I make more sense to you know, eh?

The love of Halloween has trickled down to me. Maybe I didn't get in enough dress-up time as a preschool child. Though... I did love to wear my Mom's navy blue blouse with tiny white polka dots. And high heels! What fun. Anyhoo, I love the fun of being someone else for a few hours, because of COURSE, I must also play the character. Dark, scary costumes/characters are my favorite so I can escape my goody-two shoes for awhile. Sometimes it can be so exhausting being the good girl (though I strive to be the best person I can be as often as I can). Can I get an "amen?" Oh wait, that's contradictory...

Back to the Harvest Party. I've got some great pics of the kids as they try to suck up peanuts with a straw and drop them into a cup (not surprisingly, the most talkative ones have the most powerful lungs), throw plastic bugs through a "spider web" made of ribbons into plastic buckets, and try to eat a glazed doughnut suspended on a string (hands must be behind their backs!). If you would like to publicly humiliate someone without him realizing it, bet him that he can't do that doughnut challenge in less than 1 1/2 minutes. It's quite a sight, and much harder than it sounds. I know you're grabbing your keys to go out to buy some Krispy Kremes to try this experiment. I'll wait. Make sure you purchase the glazed ones that are goopy to the touch. They make your victim/friend look completely ridiculious for a long time after the initial embarrassment of chasing a baked good through the air, because the glaze will dry to an opaque, flaky white on his cheeks, forehead, eyelashes, hair, and shirt (oh yes, it gets everywhere if you have a fierce competitor on your hands). Conveniently have no access to water or wet-naps on hand. He will still look silly if he wipes with a dry napkin. Don't worry - entertainment guaranteed or your money back. If you would like more ideas for public humiliation, please subscribe to my monthly newsletter...

Where was I? Oh, yes, the kiddies. They also decorated pumpkins with pushpins, little straw hats, straight pins, toothpicks, googly eyes, and beads. They made some really cute creations without the mess of paint or the danger of stabbing themselves (or each other) with carving knives. Granted, there was some threatening of life and limb with colored toothpicks, which the parents quickly confiscated. Luckily, they haven't had an in-depth anatomy class yet, so they weren't quite sure where to stab with the most effectiveness. This contemplative delay offered the adults the opportunity to foil the "fun-loving" fifth grade boy's plans. Sometimes I really miss that class; other times I think about how much more energy I have (like, enough to walk up a whole flight of stairs when I get home).

Thought of the day: Is it okay that my kitten's anus doesn't stay completely closed? It's actually slightly open all the time, like a little pink mouth making a surprised "ooooo" expression. Can it get infected or something? Or do I just live with the fact that I can always smell what's in his colon? Maybe I will rename him Mr. Stinkers or Captain Poo. Any other suggestions?